A life submitted….

I am 24 now and boy do I feel old. I know deep down that age is just a number. And that all the opportunities and joys of life that I missed can be recaptured in one way or another. But, I feel heartbroken thinking how my life didn’t happen according to my plan and according to my dreams. Even more painful is the thought that I could have had exactly what I wanted in life had I made a few different decisions. It wasn’t that God didn’t give me my dreams. It was the fact that I didn’t make my dreams happen. The main reason being I didn’t put myself first. Yes that’s right. My dreams didn’t work out for me because I didn’t put myself first. I was too busy worrying and helping and praying for family members who wouldn’t make good choices themselves, family members who year after year wallowed in the same ugly yucky horrible mess that they themselves made. But, I didn’t know then what I know now. I wish I did. If I did, I could have made my dreams a reality. My life would have been completely different, but so would have the lives of a lot of other people who I could have touched through following the dreams and desires of my heart. But, the first step would have been to let go of the toxic family member.

Every time I spent time with this person, an alarm would go off on the inside- just a simple message – “Don’t go out with her”; “Don’t go in the kitchen, she is there.” But, I ignored them all. I wanted to be her friend. She was charming and funny and I thought she cared about me. But, now I realize she is a narcissist from whom God was trying to protect me.

We as Christians are taught to put others ahead of us. We are taught that this is what God wants. Maybe. I don’t know. You need to ask God about that. However, from my experience I have learnt that even this rule (like all the other rules) has a context. You cannot put others ahead of you all the time – you can’t, it is just impossible – if you do, you will never fulfil the calling, the plans that God has for you.

What about the quote that says- when you make someone’s day, God will make your day? Again from experience I have learnt that these include those people to whom God will direct you to. Yes that’s right, God has even chosen the people that he wants you to help. This is because God knows who needs you most and who will be the most fulfilled by your help and blessings.

You can help anyone you want, without waiting to hear from the Holy Spirit. But, there is a chance that in doing so, it could lead you away from God’s will. If you want to be away from God’s will, you have learnt a valuable tip 😉




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