Will I get a Yes from God?

women's Bible study woman praying and crying candles

I am mad at God. Extremely Mad. In fact, I think it has been a couple of months since I have started to hate with all my heart a lot of God’s decisions in my life. I told him last night as I sat on my bedroom floor weeping (with random music on so my parents won’t hear me crying) that I don’t want my life to be full of prayers, I am tired of my life being just that – a prayerful and hopeful life, never reaching my desires. Every time I am about to reach my desire, God seems to do something that makes sure I don’t get what I want. Or at least God didn’t stop the bad things from happening. 

I don’t feel like praising God in this blog post. I feel that if I do, in my heart I might despise God more – while praising him in public – just to show YOU the reader how “all things work together for the good of those who love God” or “praise precedes the victory.”

I feel like if I praise God falsely, that might turn me against myself more and increase the distance between me and God. Right now, I heard something in my spirit, just as I put the full-stop on my last sentence. This is what I heard – “There is no distance.” It could be God who whispered that. I don’t know.

Over the past week, a couple of times, I heard this question – “Do you love me?” At first, I brushed it aside. I thought it was just a random thought. But, as the frequency of this question increased, I assumed it would be Jesus. Every time I told him – “I am not sure, I don’t know. You tell me.”

Just now as I am writing this, I realized that God knows the answer to that question. He knows whether I love him or not. I think he wants me to know the answer.



Dealing With Narcissists – Focus On Your Own Walk, Not Them

Biblical Perspectives On Narcissism

Matthew 11:16-19

16 “But to what shall I compare this generation? It is like children sitting in the market places, who call out to the other children, 17 and say, ‘We played the flute for you, and you did not dance; we sang a dirge, and you did not [a]mourn.’ 18 For John came neither (A)eating nor (B)drinking, and they say, ‘(C)He has a demon!’ 19 The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, ‘Behold, a gluttonous man and a [b]drunkard, (D)a friend of tax collectors and [c]sinners!’ Yet wisdom is vindicated by her deeds.”

At the end of Jesus description of  this generation” (aka –  (see and as a group of people that couldn’t be pleased (see, he finished by saying that “wisdom is vindicated by her deeds”.

One implication of this statement is “don’t worry about making…

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Heal Yourself through Writing


Years ago – I think it was 3 years ago, 2 of my friends encouraged me to write..One of them told me to start a blog. I told her I can’t as I am stressed. She told me the world’s greatest songwriters have used their pain as a basis for writing their songs.

The other friend told me I should start writing a diary. Around the same time I read in Psychologies magazine (which is a great and superb magazine by the way), about how a lady used writing to heal herself from what she was going through.

Writing therapy (expressive writing) involves writing as a form of therapy. Of course, this should be accompanied by healthy eating, hygiene, exercise and sleeping well.

I wish I had listened to those friends and Psychologies , and I wish I had started writing back in 2011.

Well, better late than never. Last year, I downloaded an App in my phone. It’s called EasyNote. You can use this App for checklists and notes. And you can also protect this App by password. So, even if someone has your phone, they cannot enter into EasyNote without your password.

This year, I found a website online – Penzu. It is an online diary. I checked around online. Penzu has a good reputation and is considered safe. So far, I haven’t encountered any problems.

Today, just a few minutes ago, I signed into Penzu, and I read a couple of my previous entries. It confirmed what God has been telling me.

I wish I had started writing a journal years ago. It would have saved me a whole lot of trouble. For one thing, I am the kind of girl who trusts everyone’s opinions and judgments but my own. And this kind of second-guessing took me away from God’s perfect will and landed me in a puddle of trouble, so many times.

Earlier when I was reading through my journal, I realized that had I sought God for myself and waited on him for my answers, rather than doing trial-and-error solutions which other “well-meaning” friends and people offered, I could have saved myself a lot of heartache. This is because God always gives YOU the most information, guidance, and direction (if you seek Him) about your life more than anybody else. So, learn to trust yourself.

In You Tube, Listen to:

Terri Savelle Foy  – “Journaling Your Time With The Holy Spirit.”

Joel Osteen- “You Have Inside Information” & “Are You Listening”.

Joyce Meyer- “Make Your Own Decisions”.

TD JAKES- “The Holy Spirit – Your CIA Agent”.

And cultivate the habit of daily writing (I am not talking about writing for your blog), writing in a private journal/diary – something for your eyes alone. This will ensure that you make wise decisions.

There are many physical and emotional health benefits of expressive writing. Google them, lol. 😀

Isaiah 30.20: Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them.




prayer for pride and self-righteousness

holy spirit help me father to live for you, for your glory not my own. help me to do what’s right in your me to say no to ALL the good works you don’t want me to me to understand, believe and accept that the only good works you want me to commit to are those you prepared for me to stop playing jesus’ precious name, Amen.