More and more of us go to bed too late because of sleep procrastination. What are the nighttime rituals that keep you up before finally dozing off? DAILY PROMPT FROM THE DAILY POST
Yesterday night at 10.05, How to Fall In Love by Cecelia Ahern was on my laps and I was reading intently when my dad came into my room and told me not to take a shower the next day until afternoon as the insurance company were coming to inspect our leaking shower. I got frustrated as I hadn’t taken a shower the whole day due to my dad working in the shower. I decided to get a shower before bed. By the time I finished taking a shower, it was 10.45 pm. Quick for me! I know, us ladies like to have a looongg shower time.
I went back to sitting on my bed with Cecelia’s book; devouring the story like a homeless man devouring a Subway sandwich. This girl had a vivid and unusually amazing and interesting imagination.
I put headphones in and was listening to music at the same time as I felt I needed some background music considering I was reading a story about love. How I wish my own life had some background music.
Yesterday was the night I was planning to stop my sleep procrastination and start to be a good and responsible sleeper. So, it’s a coincidence that I saw this prompt today in WordPress.
As it became 11.44 pm, I switched off the music and stopped reading. I lay awake even after the lights being off a long time. I lay cocooned inside the duvet. I contemplated for a few minutes whether to force myself to sleep or whether to get up and read for some time. I went with forcing myself to sleep.
Nope, not working. I got up and checked the time. 12.34 am. Hmm. I started reading How To Fall In Love, with sweet romantic music playing in my ears, promising myself I will read only for 15 minutes.
Well, turns out my 15 minutes stretched until 2.49 am when Dad woke up from sleep and seeing the light in my room came in to see what on earth I was up to.
I went to sleep then, (after reading for another few minutes) feeling guilty for having broken my ‘a good sleeper from today’ plan.
This morning when I woke up, I resumed reading the book, aching to know what would happen. Surprised and thankful to God at the same time that he led me to this book at such a time in my life.
I finished reading the book an hour ago with the sweet taste of Oreo milkshake teasing me inside my mouth.
I realized that the reason I couldn’t go to bed at the set time for years is because of the emotional pain I am going through. I keep putting other people before me. God doesn’t want me to do that. And when you do something that God doesn’t want you to do, there is no grace, no blessing, no peace. I keep letting irresponsible people who have lost control over their lives to make decisions for me, in the pseudo-hope that in doing so I am emitting a tiny ray of light into their lives.
I am wrong. I need to take my power back and learn to make my own decisions and not let other people walk over me. I mean even Jesus rebuked his disciple Peter when Peter suggested that Jesus should not go through with what he had in mind.
And I realized with a sadness that unless I take back control of my life from my parents, I am not going to be happy. No matter how much I pray, praise and worship God. I won’t be able to sleep at night until I come to terms with the fact that I have to accept that there are Necessary Endings in my life which I need to initiate and allow to happen.